I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
