Sry I called you an 8
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
