covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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