dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
