On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
