Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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