my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
