My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Come see our sink grown plant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
