Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
