i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
