none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you guys were way drunker than both of me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
