i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
