Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
