i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
