you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
