i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
