Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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