Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
