There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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