I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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