So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run