Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.