just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
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it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?