She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.