some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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