im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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