: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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