If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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