Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
