I met the friendliest cop last night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
