He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
