I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
