I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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