I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize