I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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