I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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