Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I didn't notice because vodka
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
