Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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