There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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