never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
