Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
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