she was so not down for the gang bang
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.