I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook