i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house