White coat. Heels.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.