Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.

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(909): View more from California

Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.

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(312): View more from Illinois

the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(646): View more from New York

we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..

(219): View more from Indiana

you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.

(646): View more from New York

nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..

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(517): View more from Michigan

Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

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(661): View more from California

the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why am I feeling up grandma?!

(312): View more from Illinois

I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.

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