therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.