people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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