every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
