Your mouth is God's brothel.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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