Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
