Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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