Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
