He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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