I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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