I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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