you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
