Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Less talking, more tequila
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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