He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
