i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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