I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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