Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
