I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
