he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
