in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
