last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just tell him i said nine months
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
