i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize