Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
