Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(863): View more from Florida

haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people

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(863): haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people http://tfl.nu/1coi

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(323): View more from California

Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

(562): View more from California

The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

(323): View more from California

fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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(323): Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though. (562): The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt (323): fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me http://tfl.nu/hrtm

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.

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(617): he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home. http://tfl.nu/gpi6

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.

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(604): Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be. http://tfl.nu/j7k8

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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(301): It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have. http://tfl.nu/pc4d

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.

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(617): He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up. http://tfl.nu/h2lf

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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(814): the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently. http://tfl.nu/7dnx

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(703): View more from Virginia

i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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(703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m

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(408): View more from California

Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission

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(408): Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission http://tfl.nu/3kcn

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.

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(610): Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on (484): Who said I was judging? More like congratulating. http://tfl.nu/coiy

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(807): View more from Ontario

Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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(807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh

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(224): View more from Illinois

I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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(224): I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store. http://tfl.nu/th0h

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat

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(902): They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat http://tfl.nu/tmda

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(518): View more from New York

Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.

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(518): Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/4mei

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(240): View more from Maryland

If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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(240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1

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