Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
